Due to work schedules, my partner leaves home an hour earlier than I do each day and arrives home two hours earlier in the evening. Aside from the brief time we share during breakfast, our opportunities for conversation on weekdays are scarce. Thus, the so-called “foot-soaking time” has become the short window each evening when I prepare hot water for her to soak her feet, during which we engage in free-flowing, unstructured chats that cover every imaginable topic.
As the saying goes, exchanging two apples leaves each person with just two apples, but exchanging two ideas generates far more than two thoughts. I’m documenting some of our discussions here for two reasons: first, to resist being part of “the silent majority” and instead lend my voice as an ordinary person; second, because I suspect many of us share a growing dissonance—why do the words and actions of people we know offline (colleagues, classmates, friends) feel so starkly disconnected from what we see online?
Both my partner and I graduated from non-prestigious universities—she from an art school, I from an engineering institute—with little exposure to social sciences, philosophy, or humanities. Our perspectives are often grounded in everyday life, and I’m aware how one’s position shapes their views. But as I said, I speak as an ordinary person preoccupied with ordinary concerns. Whether emperors use golden spoons to scoop manure? That’s beyond my interest.
Brutally Simple
This phrase seems trendy lately. Uncertainty breeds anxiety—when something’s ambiguous, people hesitate: “Is it good? Hard to say. Is it bad? Also unclear.” In contrast, simplicity and absolutism offer addictive certainty: “This is absolutely xxx, and no force in heaven or earth can change that.”
Saying “hard to say” might make one seem timid or indecisive, while “absolute” conveys authority and decisiveness. But in our complex world, clinging to absolutism will eventually marginalize you.
I lean toward “it depends” and case-by-case analysis. Without seeing the full picture (and you might never, since you’re not ](https://baike.baidu.com/item/布兰·史塔克/8019099?fr=kg_general)Bran Stark), I refuse to jump to conclusions.
Yet, for those in power, addressing minority interests is often impractical—collective obedience is prioritized, ingrained in us since childhood through songs like “The Radiance of Collectivism.” It’s downright absurd when marginalized groups themselves champion “absolute” and “brutally simple” rhetoric.
The Selectivity of Media Narratives
Media don’t need to distort, exaggerate, or fabricate to manipulate—they need only present partial truths. You can’t call their reports false, because they’re technically factual, just incomplete.
For example, a renowned health program might claim: “Body pain could signal Disease X, best treated within 2 hours of onset. Delayed treatment may cause lifelong severe nerve pain. Vaccination is also an effective preventive measure.”
At first glance, it sounds urgent—the vaccine is affordable, the onset rapid, and the consequences dire. Why not get vaccinated immediately?
What’s omitted: The disease’s incidence is one in ten million, predominantly in meat-heavy Western diets, with negligible cases domestically. The vaccine is unnecessarily costly here. Most tellingly, the largest shareholder of the vaccine’s developer is the sole owner of this “renowned health program.” The agenda is transparent.
Shamelessness Troubles Others; Shame Troubles Yourself
This gem comes from my partner’s grandmother—a true capitalist-class lady born into a landlord family.
Humanistic Care in Urbanization
Urbanization erodes intimacy. Convenient travel strips encounters of their ceremonial weight. When relatives visit, the thought “we’ll meet again soon” diminishes the occasion’s significance.
In ancient times, a meal together might be the last—hence the profound sincerity behind rituals. Consider one of life’s four great joys: “meeting an old friend in a distant land.” That joy was unfeigned.
Concealing Weakness, Feigning Strength
At work, I’ve noticed that silence masks incompetence. Some amass followers on ](https://baike.baidu.com/item/布兰·史塔克/8019099?fr=kg_general)Zhihu, Weibo, or Twitter yet share nothing substantive, leaving their expertise unverifiable. Borrowing from legal principle, I propose: “When in doubt, assume incompetence.”
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From the author:
I often wish that when facing some key decisions in life, someone could tell me the best course of action so that I would not waste my precious time. Putting myself in others' shoes, I therefore write blogs often, hoping to record in this tiny corner of the vast Internet the once-in-a-lifetime experiences that matter to me, and to help those who seek help.
